self-injury.net

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Needle, fetal
Someone's pouring warm gravy all over me
And you see that synthetic therapy
Don't you know it seems to be so unappealing
But, oh what a feeling

My hand is inches from the toilet--inches from water no doubt laced with the remains of freshman vomit and urine--two small pills resting on my skin, tipped at an angle. They could slide or stay in the palm of my hand. An instant's decision.

I haven't decided yet