self-injury.net

It depends on how depressed I am. If I'm really out of it, I don't usually feel the pain until afterwards. But if I'm more in reality, then I feel the pain but I ignore it. I'd rather feel pain than be numb anyway. It also depends on what way I am injuring. Usually with spraining bones I get pain right away. With the bruise it swells and I just feel pain if I bump it. With my cuts, they usually bleed through my pants but luckily no-one sees anyway. My burns don't hurt until the next say, and they take forever to do. I have a huge scar on my arm and one on my foot from the first few times that I did it.

Theres mental and physical pain that I feel. I like it. It gives me the feeling that I'm in control of something. My life is pretty much school, cut, homework, sleep. I'm always grounded because my parents hate me, and they don't care that I suffer from depression. Nobody knows exactly how I feel, that's why I do it. Because it feels amazing. It may hurt for a while but to know that I actually did something to myself without my parents making me/ knowing, it's like my own secret. I'm not important in my own world, and if you know how I feel and you want to talk feel free to email me... or if you think I'm a freak and just want to judge me, don't. But here it is ssostarichyahoo [dot] com 

I'm always here to talk.

Whoever says that they don't (while sober) are lying. It hurts and that's why I enjoy it. Pain is a turn on for me, so is blood. Love the feeling of being wounded. Love the reminder on my forearms and legs of whatever I did wrong that day, whatever someone else did wrong that way. It's my body, might as well enjoy it.