[female, age 26, began to SI at age 14]

Yes. I always use matches. I have not self-injured before because i couldn't find any. I always burn the match and then blow it out and try to time when it will be the perfect "heat". I always burn myself on the same wrist and I have an ongoing pattern. I have made new patterns, burning in between old scars. I recently did it and burned on top of an old scar because I felt the untouched skin surrounding what I have was... out of the right area.

In Their Own Words Information
Person: 
[female, age 26, began to SI at age 14]

Comments

my ritual

i always use razors. and i always set out everything on my bed: blades, paper towels or tissue or whatever to staunch the blood, bandages and neosporin, rubbing alcohol, and icewater. sometimes i play music. i almost always cut at night. and almost always on my right wrist or left hip/ i cut until it feels right. then i stop and let them bleed for a while. after ive had enough of that, i hold tissue or whatever down on them till theyve almost stopped. then i clean them wirh rubbing alcohol. then i bandage them. then if i have music playing (usually evanescence or system of a down) i just sit and listen to music and drink icewater and ride out the endorphine rush. i usually sleep after that. if i get a new blade, i soak it in rubbing alcohol overnight before i use it. that pretty much sums up my cutting ritual.     

♥ Alice

I am currently 22 years old

I am currently 22 years old and I started SI when I was 16. Well what I use dirty razor blade i keep outside I slowly slice my tongue with it
untill it bleeds. Then drink till I am pretty tipsy almost drunk my now
my mouth is bloody and my glass is bloody. I start cutting myperineum with my razor as deep as I can until its flows easily and throw salt and rub bleach in it.
I also slice behind my feet above my heel. I just love the feel of
insatiable pain rushing through my body I feel whole with the blade.
Once I had a piece of barbed wire which I chewed on and cut up the
whole inside of my mouth also inserted it in my rectum I bled for
almost one week from that every time I went to the toilet. I have
Hepatitis B and C. Also the early stages of Aids due to SI.

*blink*blink*

um. wow. i dont think i would be able to survive that. i mean. do whatever you need to to make yourself fell okay, but just... was gratifiation worth giving up your life? or were you already dead inside?

♥ Alice

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