self-injury.net

My teachers were shocked, and worried. They have to watch me now. My parents yelled at me. Saying that I put them through hell when I hurt so much inside. They arent the ones going through hell, I am. I feel that cut, burn, bruise, or sprain before they even see it. I don't even let them see my pain. It's just like, Smile to hide your pain and nobody has to know. Not that a lot of people care, anyway.

One of the people I told were my friends. Some of them are self-harmers, so they understood my pain and accepted it without judging me. Some of my other friends, however, said that it was stupid and only stupid people did stuff like that. And yet others said, " So you're emo?!". That really upset me because I'm not emo and I self-harm. Some people can be emo and not self harm. And vice versa. Just because I self-harm doesn't give people the right to drop me into the "emo" category. I'm judged enough as it is.

Once, I told my mother.

She simply looked at me, exasperated, and started yelling at me. She told me I was stupid, and it was probably influenced by my friends or something I saw or read. She told me I was foolish and selfish.

After she calmed down, she threatened to send me to therapy. That made me stop for a while. Therapy is much too expensive for us, and selfish ​on my part. 

It hurt, and when I relapsed, I never told her again.

I have a friend who I indirectly pulled a response from. Once, I cut my hand by accident and bled a lot. She looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, you cut yourself? You're one of those sick emos!" 

Here, self-harm is not something that is easily talked about. I never told anyone else.